Etiquette : The Man with White Handkerchiefs

As a young primary school student, my siblings and I would watch our beautiful 7th Aunt (goo goo) and 3rd Aunt ( San Ning) and their graceful ways. They were graceful, well mannered , well groomed Chinese women, who had high social status in Sibu.


Both were  good housekeepers who supervised the everyday laundry of their families perfectly. Even though 7th Aunt lived in a shophouse, she made sure that her maid help bring in the clothes whenever the skies turned grey.

Both aunts used handkerchiefs to dap their brows like gentlewomen in the class books written by the Bronte sisters and Jane Austen. Both of them folded clothes very neatly. It was awesome to watch them fold clothes whenver I happened to drop by to relay a messasge or to ask for some information during the days when we had no telephone.

I remember an advice from my 7th aunt in particular:

"You must always iron your husband's handkerchiefs when you get married in the future. He would look good using well ironed handkerchiefs."

I truly felt that she  was so admirable, and top of well brought up Chinese lady, as she meticulously ironed the starched clothes to be worn by her sons and husband. She ironed her husband's white handkerchiefs with great care and love. Her careful laundry ensured that Uncle Kie Ming would never be short of handkerchiefs which were of the best white imported cotton.

Their shop, Ching Chiong, also sold good men's handkerchiefs all nicely packed in impressive boxes for display in the glass cabinets. The shop sold  besides textile, and other items like buttons, scissors, needles, all nicely packed in impressive boxes.

As a young child, I used to look at the boxes from England, learning to read all the English words on them, feeling quite happy that I could read them. In those days we only knew that some goods were imported from overseas, while others came from China. But goods from overseas were definitely more expensive and better than goods from China or Malaya.

My aunt told me that men must carry handkerchiefs so that they could blow their noses discreetly into them. That was the correct etiquette or gentleman manner. Our Uncle had bad sinus so he really needed his handkerchiefs. Other Chinese men would publicly and carelessly blow their nose into the drain, or even on the 5 foot way.

Every good student of Yuk Ing Girls' School was trained to make handkerchiefs, iron and fold
them properly. This was one of the skills they learned from the school which would make them the best wife material for Foochow men, which would then lay the foundation for a strong Foochow society. Mrs. Mary Hoover was adamant that she trained her girls well in this matter and teach them to  develop good etiquette.