Nang Chong Stories : A Village Wedding and Helping Hands

This old photo remids me of my young days visiting my Ngie mah (maternal grandmother ) during the holidays in the 1950's and 60's.

On one occasion, all her children and grand children were home for the wedding of the eldest son's eldest son, Lau Kiing Tieng, who was thus my eldest maternal cousin.

There are several important aspects of this wedding.

a) My cousin found his potential wife through the proper channel of a match maker, who was oozing with praises for the girls she was going to introduce. The match maker took out a very fetch photo from her purse. I suppose my cousin liked her looks straight away. And soon negotiations were made regardig dowry *Pinging ( bride price) and various gifts.
b) The setting of the date must be during the school holidays when all relatives could come. It must not coincide with other weddings too because of various reasons.
c) A motor launch or even two or three would be hired at minimal cost. Prices were all negotiable and most boat owners were kind because the prices must be low so that every one could afford a good wedding.
d) A brass band must be hired for the occasion, usually free of charge.
e) The village Methodist pastor must be invited (one at the girl's home , if in the village) and another at the town restaurant if the blessing was at the restaurant. If the solemnization of the wedding was at the groom's home, the village pastor would officiate. It was generally very Methodist, and very Foochow. I cannot remember any Church weddings at all during my childhood.
f) The preparation of the wedding feast was done by gotong royong. Every person known for his good strength and cookig skill would form the team.  These helpers were called Buong Chiew (Helping Hands). the Host and Hostess need not worry at all about the feast.
g) Home reared animals would be slaughtered for the feast.
h) The bridesmaid would be from the groom's family usually because for convenience after the wedding she could walk home in the village. If the bridesmaid was from the bride's family, transport would become an issue.
i) The best man must be a popular Master of Ceremony, a good speaker, and some one who could control the crowd. Some Foochow men could be invited to be best man many times over. One even made it to the Malaysian Book of Records. (note : another story )
j) The Foochows in those days did not have Tea Ceremony. It was rustic, just kneeling and bowing, and angpows were given, or gold items given from the groom's side like welcome gifts.

One interesting comment about Foochow weddings by the banks of the Rajang was this :

"When I went home for the school holidays from my boarding school, I saw my siblings sitting on the floor eating their lunch. I knew immediately that a village wedding was to take place and the caterer had borrowed our dining table..."

My cousin, Ah Tieng looked so much a scholar in his rented white suit. His bride, Cousin Siong Huong was beautiful like a "fairy from heaven".

they were to be very happily married for many years with one son, and two daughters.

(In memory of Cousin Siong Huong who helped look after my few months old baby boy for almost a year. She was able to help baby sit because she was a home dress maker and a housewife while my cousin was a barber. They raised their lovely family by working hard and living very frugally fairly near our house in Brooke Drive. We are forever grateful. May She Rest in Peace.)