Mum and Her Mushrooms Story

 My  mother was good at reciprocating New Year Gifts. When ever her sisters in law  and sisters sent some festive gifts over to her, she would choose some freshly bought items to return to them, usually more than what they gave. She would make sure that she would ask one of us to get some Chinese New Year items from Ta Kiong for her gift exchanges. Since Mum could not drive or cycle, we girls were tasked to deliver the gifts by bicycle.

It was common knowledge that gift exchanges could cause some family conflicts resulting in some serious results. Some relatives even stopped talking to each other. This WAS the danger of giving gifts which were not appreciated. 

Giving of Hampers was a later trend started by the supermarkets in Sibu. And then it was the pricing that would cause grief among the aunties and cousins. Mum being mum was not fond of buying hampers because some of the items according to her, "Simply cannot be eaten!" and very often expired.

One day my young sister was sent to deliver a gift to a relative but she came home in tears because the recipient said, "We don't eat fragrant mushrooms which are low grade. Please take these home. We only eat Flower Mushrooms." My younger sister was so insulted that she cried all the way home. This particular relative was a bit of a snob to say the least. But may be, to give her some credit, she was just blunt?

Whether my mother was hurt or distraught, she kept it all in her heart for the rest of her life.  Well in a way, the majority of the items were acceptable and only the fragrant mushrooms were rejected. But whenever we had dried mushrooms at home, we would be reminded of the incident. In later days, mum would buy flower mushrooms to give us a treat but we continue to love fragrant mushrooms and other kinds of mushrooms which were easily bought in the supermarkets. We did not have to wait for gifts from relatives.

This was a scar inflicted mentally on all of us children because an adult was very insulting. Mum was then a widow and we bought what we could afford. 

And in those days, shitake mushrooms were already well respected as part of our Foochow soh mien for first day of Chinese new year. My mother would always send gifts including one kampong chicken, some dried soh mien from Ah Juoh Bak (the best in town),some mushrooms and some tins of peaches.

This was the special Foochow hamper for sisters in law and for sisters. But sometimes the wrong

words could really hurt for life. Flower mushrooms or fragrant mushrooms or which ever type, my mother sent them with love.

We must always receive gifts with grace.