March 28, 2021

My Maternal Grandfather's Tomb


My maternal grandfather, Lau Kah Jui,died during the Japanese Occupation when folks were in dire straits. A grave lot was quickly bought from the Methodist Church Cemetery Committee, for a single lot, when normally children would buy two lots for both their parents.

Perhaps my uncles were then really poor to come up with the money. But most importantly, my maternal grandmother was stranded in China and there was no news about her during the war. They did not even know if she was alive or not! So it was only practical that they bought only one lot to bury my grandfather. She had gone back to China with a grand plan of building a large mansion with the money from rubber for the family. But her dream was bombed as the Japanese dropped a large bomb in the Lau family village. And because of the war she had to spend her hard earn money on keeping herself and the children she had around her alive! Her second son, third daughter and husband were all with her.

This resulted in a very interesting situation as not many Foochow couples were buried separately in Sibu .It is the cultural practice and duty of filial children to bury their parents together.

My maternal grandfather passed away in 1944 after quite a long illness.

After the war, my grandmother after being persuaded by her children, then in Fuzhou, and also letters from Sibu, finally decided to return to Sibu. According to her never in her dream did she ever think of returning to the village of Nang Chong she left. 

It was after the war and no many people had ready cash. My mother had sent her the savings she had from her salary as a teacher (she was earning 60 dollars a month)  - all $200.00 Brooke Dollars for her and her siblings' journey. My second uncle had then married his pretty girl friend from Fuzhou City. so it was quite a big group coming back to Sibu. My 2nd uncle and his wife and baby, my third Aunt and her husband and a baby too, two boys who were related to my grandmother. the boat journey was rough and very little food was given even though they had to pay for the meals. To many the boat journey was almost a starvation journey, unlike the cruises of today.

So many of the other passengers were also "running away " from Fujian and all had very little money on them. My grandmother according to my Third Aunt was feeling sad to leave China so she stayed in the cabin all the time, and did not even went on shore to visit Singapore. She did not feel like eating for days.

But upon her return she took everything very stoically. She had come back to Sibu, in her own words, "very empty handed". The Japanese war had literally burnt all her savings.

In retrospect, we all knew that my grandfather had been provident. He left some property for her and the children, for after the war, the economy recovered. Rubber tapping revived a little and the family had a smoke house, some rubber trees and padi land. (This will be another posting)

And my Ngie mah passed away in 1985, more than 40 years later. All the remaining days of her life, she was often thinking of Bang Dong.

This photo was taken in the 60's when my youngest maternal aunt had her third girl. Her boy, Ah Chiong was not born yet.


Happy Palm Sunday 

to 

 Ngie Goon and Ngie Mah 

in 

Heaven.


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