Five Dollars for a Child Bride

 Today is Mother's Day and I want to thank my Ngie Mah for bringing my mother to this earth. Thank God for all the goodness mothers bring.

I pay tribute to a wonderful maternal grandma, our 5 Silver Dollar Grandma.

1897

This is the story of my maternal Grandmother,our Ngie Mah,  who was sold to the Lau Patriarch, Lau Kah Tii for five siliver dollars.Her father was destitute in Keh Tau Puoh, near Bang Dong, 6Du, Ming Ching. She was being carried on his shoulders and he was calling out to passers by to buy her!

Born into the end of the Qing Dynasty my grandmother initially started to have her feet bound but as the family became poorer (may be due to opium smoking or gambling) she was sold. she was named Tiong Lien Tie (Lotus to bring in brother) . 

This was a very painful part of the story that my grandmother told me. Her brother was just born and she also had a small sister then. At age four, and her feet almost bound (for a year) but flattened, she could be a good slave in any rich man's household. It was the end of the Qing Dynasty, and life was difficult. There were so many beggars around. In fact many baby girls who were born were secretly killed (female infanticide).

It was a spring day and not that very cold so the baby girl was not so afraid to be in the market place and among adults. Great Grandfather Tiong was waiting for a chance to sell his daughter. Just before noon that day, a rich man came forward to introduce possible buyer. He bought the little girl for the asking price of Five Silver Dollars .

That's another part of the story. My great grand father Tiong was quite a crafty man who told a lie. I those days, your worth was measured against your years. One year old baby was sold at One Silver Dollar. In order to get one more silver dollar my great grandfather lied to Lau Kah Tii that she was 5 years old but very small for her age. She was in fact 4 years old only, born in the year of the Chicken.

She was then taken to live in 6Du Bang Dong in the ancestral home with a sister in law (Mrs, Lau Kah Tii)  and some elders. Because the house was next to a school house, she listened to the teacher teaching Confucius classics and moral stories. 

She committed everything she learned to memory. Being very smart she could repeat the lessons learned. In the future she was to impart this knowledge to all her children and grand children. I had informal education based on rustic Confucian teachings from her. For that I am very grateful.

1901-1903 Lau Kah Tii and his brother Lau Kah Jui sailed to Nanyang, Sarawak, with Wong Nai Siong.

She was taken to Sibu to live with the Lau Family. So from a very young age in Ensurai, downriver Sibu, she learned to look after chickens. ducks, pigs, and also to start a fire and boil water for soup and tea for the rubber tappers. She was trained to be a kitchen helper.

 At age 16 she was married to my Maternal Grandfather who was 16 years older than her.

It was definitely not a love match in her own words. But they had 4 boys and 5 girls and shared a life together until the last 5 years of his life when my maternal grandma went back to China in 1938 to build a large mansion for the family. My grandfather was not a talkative man and was opposite of my grandma who was articulate, quick witted, and very socially intelligent. She went on to manage the household very well after they moved out from the family home in Ensurai.

1938 - Back to China

In 1938 my grandfather sold 30 acres of land and gifted the cash to her so that she could build a mansion in Bang Dong, Fujian. She was happy to be able to do that. But the war came unexpected and Fujian came under the Japanese. It was a very tough time for her and the children who came with her to study in Fuzhou City.

Her  whole mission was unsuccessful and she lost a fortune. 

1945

When the war ended, she came back to Sibu to recoup, started a rubber smoke house, organised the fruit and rubber gardens, and padi farming with her two sons living together in the old house. 

Her eldest son was a barber and part time wharf labourer who lived with her in Nang Chong. Her second son and his Fuzhou City wife went to live in the school in another part of the Rajang Valley. The third son was a wharf labourer, part time fisherman and later company director of a big road construction company. And the youngest son went to Beijing to enrol in at the university, but got involved with the rebuilding of China who finally passed away near Tibet, an unsung hero.

Her daughters were married to successful men. The eldest son in law was a medical doctor from Ping Nang, second son in law was from the wealthy Wong family of Sarikei, third daughter was married to her own relative, who later became a Sarawak Education Inspector (good post) and fourth daughter, my mother was married to my father, a factory manager (at that time) and my youngest aunt (later to a teacher turned timber man)

She passed away in 1983 in Sibu. She had lived through the Qing Dynasty, the Brooke Rule in Sarawak,  the Kuomintang period, the Japanese War in China, the Colonial Government in Sarawak and Malaysia.

She left behind grand children from her sons and daughters to mourn her death.

Several interesting points I can mention here:

It was interesting how she was tested in Bahasa Melayu in order to get her RED IC (which she had all her life in Sarawak) - and that's another story....

My mother used to think frequently ad fondly of her, saying that, "It was good. SHE had knowngood times and bad times, she had knownwealth and poverty. She had met good people and bad people. She had done many things her own way...."

We have a family legend about her and her special gold bracelet which she did not want to ever part because her daughters bought it for her 60th birthday. She loved it so much that she never ever wanted to take off her bracelet. Eventually when she became totally blind she gave it to her Third Daughter in law who eventually became the most successful and wealthy of all the daughters in law. She had really loved her third son who stayed with her until the end of her life. And if still alive, she would have been very proud of this family  Every one said that she had given him a good name -  WIN (Pang Sing) .

To the other members of her family she left behind fond memories and stories she told very often in order to teach people to do good.

She also taught her descendants to treat pastors well by example. Every time pastors came to visit the family, she would ask her daughter in law to slaughter a chicken and boil soup and eggs. Her mee sua was one of the best in the Rajang Valley.

May God bless her soul.