My great grandmother , Wong Ni Mui (Wong Second Sister) was a bound feet lady from a scholarly family in Minqing, Fujian. Her parents were not exactly landowners but they were comfortably off with some property. She and her siblings had tutors coming to the family house and very significantly, she and her sisters had their feet bound as it was the norm even though it was already the end of the 19th century.
As she was the only relative I knew well with bound feet, I was particularly intrigued by her small sized feet, the wrapping clothes and her small shoes which she made. I was already very aware of her when I was four. We lived together in the Manager's house in Hua Hung Ice Factory and Rice Mill in Pulau Kerto.
Very much later when I was older I realised she also owned a pair of leather shoes which were custom made for her, ordered by my grandfather who went to Singapore to see my aunts.
Bound feet were considered a status symbol and a mark of beauty. The small feet were mentioned by poets as Lotus Feet. Chinese literature mentions Three Inch Lotus which refers to the beauty of bound feet. Men according to many poets swoon at the sight of Three Inch Lotus. But it was definitely only a myth. Shoes made for bound feet were known as lotus shoes.
Great Grandmother Wong was able to read a bit. When she was in her late 70's she had forgotten how to write. I was told by several aunts that she had learned only to write with a Chinese ink brush and on scroll papers. She was able to recognise the old style of Chinese accounts, and the Chinese numerals. She therefore could read the IOUs, figures in 10's, 100's and 1000's. I remember she would read the Chinese calendar in her room and often told me about birthdays and the seasons in China.
In fact when we were young we were not aware of whether an adult was literate or not, so it never really occur to me to ask questions about my great grandmother then. When I went to school, and Goo Poh, her daughter, who was a kindergarten teacher, kindly checked my homework. And I did not ask her any question.
If only I could wind back the clock. Today I have become more inquisitive and would ask a lot of questions about an older person's ability to read and write,etc. In those days it was rude to ask questions.
It was common knowledge in the family where Great Grandmother came from. My Great Grandfather had gone home to Minqing to find wife after he had made a bit of money in Sibu in 1907 or 1908. He had been a widower for too many years.
(My grandfather had lost his mother when he was barely 6 years old in poverty stricken Wun Chieh, Minqing. He was in his late teens when he followed Wong nai siong to Sibu. It was an opportunity my enterprising grandfather would not miss. Father and son had converted to Methodism by then.)
Thus when he returned to Minqing, great grandfather was introduced by several match makers who were very ready to help him, a Nanyang visitor. However he was struck by the mention of a woman who was at that moment being sold by an opium addict and gambler from a wealthy family. Great Grandmother was in her 20's then but would he not be bothered that she had small feet we were told.
It was believed that my great grandfather was impressed by her gentleness and kindly disposition and also the fact that she had no children. Her bound feet did not bother him at all. With the help of relatives, the marriage was arranged, and he paid off the husband.
Great Grandmother was therefore a "divorcee" in modern terms but in those olden days, she was"sold by her husband" to pay off his debts. It was a "done" thing. When some of my women relatives later mentioned this fact in our presence, they would commiserate with the mainland Chinese women and felt the "abuse" of those days. But they were glad that my great grandmother had a lucky escape, and was able to "come out of China to Nanyang" to live a new life.
It must have been difficult for her to acclimatize when she first arrived in Sibu. The heat and the humidity must have bothered her. However not long after that, my Goo Poh was born. She was just slightly older than my father and Aunt Lily. Though my great grandmother had bound feet, she was able to do all all domestic chores very happily, and slowly.
She made sure that Great Grandfather was well taken care of and she made special snacks for him in the afternoon, after his nap. Great Grandfather also had a snack tin which could be pulled down by a small rope. There were biscuits and sweets in the tin.
As a step mother to my grandfather and granduncle Kung Eng, she was most loving and kind.And during the Japanese Occupation, my grandfather would carry her on his back, run to the bomb shelter when the bomb siren went off, or when the Japanese airplanes were heard. She was not able to run at all because of her small feet.
Great Grandmother was a good cook according to my mother who married into the family in 1948 and lived with her for several years in Pulau Kerto. She would give instructions to Yew Ping, the adopted grand daughter, what to prepare for their meals. As the matriarch of the extended family, great grandmother ran a good household as she was a firm person, and a wise decision maker. Her earlier marriage must have give her a lot of experiences.
She was however the traditional subservient wife and later in life,she was "obedient" to my grandfather, her step son. While the extended family lived in Pulau Kerto, many relatives would come to visit and stay for a few nights. This was the kind of event they loved. Great Grandmother would make sure that there was a lot of food on the table and she would give instructions to make Foochow kuihs and snacks. The stone grinder would be very busy. Cousin Yew Ping used to tell us that her muscles were built up because she was always the one to push the stone grinder. The Tiong family had a lot of rice to eat because of the rice mill. Customers paid by kind,a tin of rice for milling the rice.
She was a woman of no temper, with a very gentle and kind disposition. She had never been known to raise her voice.
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| This is a family portrait with my great grandparents. The rubber garden in Sungei Merah forms the background. My great grandfather's 60th birthday. |
A very interesting fact about her was that about a decade after her marriage to my great grandfather, her first husband some how appeared in Hua Hung Ice Factory, Pulau Kerto, Sibu. He must have wanted to be a new migrant, to find his fortune in the New Foochow. He came to visit my great grandparents but my great grandmother reportedly used a broom to hit him and reprimanded him, "Useless man, go away".
This anecdote was told and retold by everyone. She must have reserved a lot of energy to be able to do that.
Even in the last few years of her life, she would spend hours washing her bound feet and the bandages would be dried on a bamboo pole at night in the kitchen in the Sg. Merah house. She was a very clean woman and bathing was like a dynastic ritual for her. Hot water was boiled for her by Aunt Hiong, and the bath tub would be filled with water to which the hot water would be added. And when she was taking her bath, no one was able to use the bathroom. Hence my grandfather's house had two toilets which were separately built. There was the common bathroom for every one next to the kitchen. In those days, the idea of an attached bathroom was not an option.
My great grandmother was a woman of strong faith. She prayed frequently and trained the younger generation well, especially the grand daughters by telling them a lot of moral stories.
But she did spoil the grandsons.
My aunts and uncles remained close and affectionate towards her from the time they were born. And in fact my 11th aunt (Aunt Carrie) was actually raised by her when Grandma Wong passed away at age 38 and aunt Carrie was only a few months old.
She passed away in 1955 and my grandfather wept for days. People often remarked how filial he was to his stepmother.
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