Saying Goodbye to Sibu

My grandfather was always happy to bid farewell to his daughters going off to study overseas. This was one of the last photographs he took with the extended family at the Sibu airport. He passed away in 1963, four years after this photo was taken.

It was the sending off for my aunt Greta who won a scholarship to study in the USA in 1959. She was always a top brilliant scholar (very good in Maths) and later she came back to teach in Sarawak until she retired.

That moment in time I did think about myself going away to study. It would be very nice to study abroad. But soon the political and social conditions changed with the formation of Malaysia. Family stability also changed in the following ten years.

After my grandfather passed away in 1963, our huge family never had any more photos taken at the airport, to welcome any one, or to bid farewell to any one. To me it was a very sad change in our family life. We did not visit the big house in Sg. Merah as a family, although my mother would ask me to send gifts to my grandmother every now and then. Besides, we missed the usual visits made by grandpa. As our grandfather was very fond of my father, his first born, he had routinely come to check the stove, the roof, the stair cases and even the windows which he helped to maintain very well. Every one missed our Handyman Grandpa.

So when it was my turn to leave Sibu for my studies in 1970, a decade or so later, the scenario was totally different. There was no fanfare, there was no noise, or exactly, NO PUBLICITY. It was oh so quiet and rather sad.

My memories of my first departure from Sibu were very despondent. I did not want to go away. I did not want to leave the comfort of home, and all the familiar things, friends, school, teachers, and shops known as my micro world. I felt as if a leaf was slowly dropping from its mother tree and soon to dry up and then die on the ground.

By 1970, we had not only lost our family patriarch but also my father. There was no jell to put the extended family together.

Our splintered family caused members to distance themselves from each other and communication was not really at its most cordial at times. Like many other families, we were only meeting up at funerals, and sometimes weddings. Sometimes my widowed mother was not even on the invited list because relatives (understanding?) were worried that she could not afford to give the angpow for some Foochow weddings could be really expensive to attend.

Many Foochow women would bring a piece of old gold to exchange for new pieces to be given to the bride as gifts. The Tien Aik Goldsmith towkay neo would have a lot of stories to tell regarding this matter. My cousin Soon (Lee family) would also offer some advice to my mother for example if and when she brought a piece of gold to exchange for one or two pieces of new gold.  My mother after my father's passing never wore any gold ornaments to honour his memory except her wedding ring.

 When my turn came to leave Sibu, I had a very quiet send off, just my mother, my two sisters and my brother.  I was blessed as I had won a scholarship to study in University of Malaya. My sister Sing was a temporary teacher (later she was to join Batu Lintang Training College) We were lucky even to have this photo taken. I am not sure, until today, if it was Mr. Azahari who took the photo. My mother also could not remember, but we have this photo.

I suppose I just went with the flow then. A chance to study at university level even though it was a local university, and why not?  If I had not won the scholarship I would have to make another choice in life. I could never have afforded to study overseas at our own expenses.

Besides, I had never entertained the possibilities of marrying into a family who could give me a meal ticket. My mother would not have liked that idea. But it was one of the most popular choices of girls in those days.

Also I did not entertain any thoughts of becoming a nurse or a stenographer. Probably I had the best choice at a university which had given me a place. What more could I wish for? There was no more time for me to change my mind. Several of my school mates were also accepted by MU. So off we went casting our fate into the winds and we crossed the pond to the other side.

I remember I did not even have a hand bag, just a small purse to hold my IC. I cannot even remember if I had to use a passport because I was quite a muddle headed person when I travelled. Now I cannot even remember what I had in my hand. I only remember I had a very small suitcase which was checked in.

Then I was in the plane and I was given a cold towel to wipe my face and my tears.

Note : It was my first flight out of Sibu. As the plane took off, I saw Sibu growing smaller and smaller below me and soon I was air borne. 

What would the future be for me? My mind was a blank at that very moment. I had to harden my heart I told myself and get that degree! After that every thing would be fine - a job and earn a salary. 

Most family photos of our extended family were taken by my father, my uncle, Lau Pang Kwong, and a few other friends of the family.)