Wedding Photo

 I promised to keep my friend's ID anonymous for this blog post. Even the photo I am using is a studio wedding portrait from eBay.

These are her memories of her wedding day. She is just slightly older than I.

In the 1960's she did not have the chance to marry a man of her own choice and have a good wedding but it was a kind of hurried marriage for the convenience of the families just before the dawn of Malaysia.

She did not complete her Form Five because her parents wanted her to get married, and to have another family to look after her in exchange for her life long loyalty to her in laws.  On the day her parents and his parents agreed to have them marry each other she was still in her class room and she did not know any better.

When she went home her parents told her she was to marry before the Chinese New Year and that she had to stop studying.

She askedher mother, " Why can't we afford the few dollars of school fees? I can sweep the office in the school and I can take in some washing to earn my fees!!|

Her parents had other plans for her. Her fiance was going away to work in Indonesia and his company would remit a part of his salary into her account, soon to be started when she married him.

It was a simple wedding. The most important was the taking of the studio photo.

The wedding was held in Sibu and to celebrate the marriage they had a three table lunch to "let relatives" know about their union. It was a hard time when money was not easy to earn and young men had to cut short their studies to find work and feed the extended families.

A relative helped them find a dress maker who had a wedding dress for rent. It was almost new as the dress maker wore the dress herself. She would be the second bride to wear the lovely dress, personally made by the dress maker.

It was a good fit and on the wedding day she was given some make up by the friendly dress maker for free.. Her fiance had gone with his older brother  to a Cantonese tailor to have himself fitted into a suit (which did not really fit) and he borrowed a necktie .

The older brother and almost smart looking bride groom got a taxi to pick the bride up from the dress maker's house.

Studio Wedding Photo 1960

That was all good after a warm morning and they went to Hock Cheu Leu for a three table wedding lunch (she told me that each table cost only 50 dollars).

The Chinese headman from their village came to say a few words and the couple did their bows and their kneelings. Their Methodist pastor came to say a prayer for the family.

My friend had to kneel on the folded red blanket to her "elders", and she received a gold ring from her mother in law and a bracelet from her sisters in law. Those were her most precious gifts which she kept all her life.

After the lunch they went to a photo studio to take photos. First they had a family photo taken, followed by the two of them together. They had to rush a little because they must take the last motor launch from Sibu at 2 oclock as the family was not wealthy enough to charter a whole motor launch.

The wedding was thus over and they were married! Her parents advised her to keep her marriage strong, have children and live happily together with her in laws.

Her mother had tearfully said, " Do not let us hear any bad things about you. Be good, obedient and hard working. You belong to another family now."

 As she recounted the story she said that she did not even realize that there was no signing of a marriage certificate. (She and her husband later registered t heir marriage officially with a penghulu in Sibu, and that was many years later)

She told me laughingly that her wedding photo hanging on the wall of the village house was the official wedding certificate!!

As it was the normal practice, her husband was able to print many copies of their wedding photo and gave them to their elders for keep sake. So she again said, that was their public announcement of their marital status.